A Dark Place

I have lost a number of years to a dark place, a lot of people will relate to this place for many different reasons.

I was going through the normal mid life eek bit sad a blue when i let evil enter my house in the guise of a friend! I think because i wasn't in the best frame of mood i didn't see 

for years and i do mean years - my beautiful pride and joy, my pippa collection was decimated, destroyed by a greedy person who thought to just take 

when the penny did drop i then had to find out to what extent and truly even now i am not sure to what full extent that is.. I can't actually get my collection out ..dare not check my boxed dolls

i know all my loose dolls have had head and body swaps ..my favourite dolls - gone 

my bodies now all swingy chewed or over played with , i had over 20 odd years of collecting upgraded all my loose collection to near perfect.

i know she has swapped heads on a couple my boxed dolls i stopped looking at this point and they now and stacked sideways on my shelf for fear of seeing more damage.

Over time i have tried repeatedly to gain love back for pippa and i do love her she means so much but i miss my favourite dolls when i try i just feel angry sad and hurt by all of this 

at the time i could not sleep for months i would get up and pace the floor downstairs angry that i had let this happen to me ..angry that a person could be so nasty my head would just not stop talking !

over time i stepped away several times each time coming back and feeling the same things all over again 

Even this time i have tried to build my website this last few weeks and again i noticed stuff missing from my boxed fashions ..grrrr and yes i have spent that last few nights up again not being able to sleep not being able to turn that voice off in my head

I want to create this doll "A Dark Place" on opening my box of victims! i have no good dolls there all chewed damaged swingy . it just all hurts every time its a gift that just keeps giving 

she didn't not leave one part of my collection un touched 

I will never know the full extent of what she took or did to my collection

you do forget things 

You lose .. i lost beautiful things i treasured but its not the loss of just things 

you lose your trust in people , paranoia is just so hard 

i have lost time , years to hurting and having that black dog at my heals

the people around you step away ..dont want to be involved and i do understand why but it doesn't make it hurt less 

you just feel alone.

All our pains are distinct to each one of us ... the pain , loss, suffering we all go through is individual and you live your own i know these are only things so not important but to me its ruined and stolen part of my life 

to anybody who has visited the dark place for whatever reason my heart goes out to you and know your not alone

to those who hurt

shame on you

you do not know the devastation & Harm you cause 

may karma find you

for people who have been kind thank you 

i am sorry i keep getting lost

to those with patience again thank you and sorry

So its the 2nd May 

and new stuff delivered to work on this project 

these are tiny polystyrene bricks 

I mean to use them to create a wall for back drop